Wednesday, January 9, 2013

My Chained Love - The neurosis of hanging on

"The scariest thought in the world is that someday I'll wake up and realize I've been sleepwalking through my life: under-appreciating the people I love, making the same hurtful mistakes over and over, a slave to neuroses, fear, and the habitual." 


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I carry my chain with me where ever I go. Its a pretty chain. At least everyone thinks it should be. I take it in my hands and play with it unconsciously. I catch myself looking at it when I pass a mirror, or in a reflection on the glass. At times it chokes me, when I sleep it tangles itself around my neck and irritates me. I'm worried it will break and I will lose it, or someone will want it more than me and take it from me. I've had this chain for many years. I would give it away, but I thought I would miss having it. It scared me to think of the loss I would feel,  not being able to play with it, or for it to catch my eye. I don’t think a new chain would be as good, after all, how can you replace the years I've invested in taking care of this one? I'll probably die with it after all....


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