Tuesday, March 3, 2015

A Lesson From Missing You

“...she has the ability to hide as expertly as a sock in a washing machine. No one knows where it goes, just as no one knows where she goes, but at least when she decides to come back, we're all here, waiting for her.” - Cecelia Ahern

 

Breathing in and with each rasping dry inhale I'm missing you
It burns down to the hollow of my soul.
Memories they flood in, a confusing mix. I thought I missed just you,
but I miss the many that are a part of me.
Each having a part to play, each having a part in me,
each deserving of my attention.
What will I do with these feelings? I shouldn't,
long after only you.
I should enjoy the many 
that have become a part in my life.
How can I miss only you and leave out the others
who have a part to play?
I must move on, pay my respects, but in the end 
I know you're only a part.
There yet remains a whole to be built from my life,
a whole song, a whole book,
not just a verse, or a chapter.
In this moment, I'll breath a painful breath that it may give me
a lesson from missing you. 


Also published in Lifeasahuman

Also published in Broowaha

02172012


Leap Of Faith

“The foolish ask many questions the wise cannot answer” - Oscar Wilde

“Of the making of books there is no end, and much study leads to exhaustion.” 





Questions are a sign of intelligence and creativity that given the right environment, can lead to an endless, tortuous circle of reasoning. Why did that tragedy happen to me? Is God male or female? Will I know people after I die? These inquiries exhaust my mental and emotional energy, leaving me with no strength to push through the day at hand. Questioning my beliefs, my existence, my experience, is necessary, but I must lay down these pursuits and find a place of peaceful existence should my questions go unanswered. What follows is a leap of faith that eventually brings sense of well-being to my life. There I have to understand that I don’t understand, admit my finite power of mind, lay down my notepad, my calculator, my psychoanalysis, and find the peace that will guide me though the dark valley of the unknown.


Also published on Broowaha

12122011 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

The Criminal In Me

“When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.”  - Nelson Mandela


Demon_Inside_ME_by_LorelainW.jpg

Resisting impulses to do and to numb.
Trying my best just to overcome
The Criminal in Me
I'm not hard by glance, at first sight,

But only I know the plight
Of the Criminal in Me
A forlorn soul, tied to earth by pain,
Inside he seeks to make life pay,
The Criminal in Me
How many times I asked to be free
All in vain, no one can see
The Criminal in Me
Addictions to things both seen and not seen
Leaving all behind to find those things
The Criminal in Me
I look for peace but yet I must be
Not controlled but living by
The Criminal in Me.


Also published in Broowaha


12182010

Love In A Wall - Laying the line

"Sex is just another form of talk, where you act the words instead of saying them."
- D. H. LAWRENCE, Lady Chatterley's Lover





Sinewy wrists twist the trowel, 
causing it dance on the board 
gathering its share of love
along the way. 

Deftly, quickly, with a flick and a pull, 
a long even line is coaxed 
from the willing load. 

Movements define other movements 
setting up reciprocating pulses
in a syncopation of motion. 

Thick calloused fingers, 
pluck another willing blossom, 
forcing it to mate the bed of passion. 

Dance, flick, pull, mate, dance, flick, pull, mate. 
Tedium, repetition, yet, another brick. 
building an impassioned wall

Following hard after the mated pair, 
a tool pushes in binding them together, 
sealing their union.

Tools are useful said the young man to his master...

12292010

Friday, February 27, 2015

Questions

“I want to say somewhere: I've tried to be forgiving. And yet. There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in.”  ― Nicole Krauss, The History of Love 


summerswarrior


A vague feeling possesses my soul anonymously. Where does it come from? Does it brood in the dark waiting for a chance to squeeze through my door like a sneaky black cat darting between my legs for a chance to roam? Why would I want to sequester it like I need its undivided decision about who I am? I'm running around madly chasing the minuses of the life's equation to herd them into a pen and shut the gate. This is hard work and I'm sweating profusely, no wonder I lived so long with them amok among my things. Why do I feel loyal enough to give them such a large field to run in? I thought myself to have won this battle but the little critters spawn like roaches and where I see one, it's guaranteed that more hide in the shadows. Life is bored with complaints, it's time for compliments to my soul. Like sour cream on a potato and lemon in the tea, the bitter makes the taste of life more palatable.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

P.O.

“He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentence Renews the racket, not repentance.”
Ogden Nash, I'm a Stranger Here Myself



other-ways-to-live


Rough your way intruded on me
Now your way's what I want to be
So take your give and know that I
Will always care for your girl Shy
Only bars prevented this
All your girls beggin' shit
Thinking that I'd make all this up
but you knew, we'd all shut up
Dresses and letters to all your friends
Everything you wanted that's how it ends.
And now my hell is left without you.
Turning my PO world to blue...


Also published in Broowaha

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Song You Hear

 “The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye...until we meet again” ― Jimi Hendrix



natalul

You were ice and unmoved
by romance and its normal tune
You wanted desperation's plea
and a new way for you to be
Tunes won't be tamed by what you know
or by the memories that we tow
Listen and understand to see what's real
has nothing to do with what you feel
I have shit that cuts and wounds
you endured that shit evidenced by tunes
I am hardly me and you won't feel the glow
That this hardened me will never show
The song he's singing is a different rhyme
The love I feel is worth more than time


Lov3 m3

Spark Of Life - Your Touch

“I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die”



spacefairytales


Seen it come and seen it go, many days high, many days low.
Something about creating, lets me see.
Something about feeling it come over me,
Brings a spark of life to everyday things.

Without your touch those words will die were they fell.
Without your touch those marks are lost in gray hell.
Without your touch those plans are hard to tell.
A spark of life to everyday things.

Seen it come and seen it go, many days high, many days low.
Something about creating, lets me see.
Something about feeling it come over me, 
Brings a spark of life to everyday things.


01062011

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Levity

“The certain prospect of death could sweeten every life with a precious and fragrant drop of levity.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche



angel-in-the-wind


Passing around hard thoughts,
Skipping through rough consequences
Rebuking the threats that abound
A break deserved brought about by
my sweet Levity.

The feasts are prepared,
a peaceful interlude is granted
smiles endure and the future ignored
an intermission paid in full by
my sweet Levity.

All memories are her ethereal songs,
Sweet lullabies sung before the never setting sun
Her persistent touch rocking the cradle
New life borne in light by
my sweet Levity.



Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Rings and Tears

 “Sometimes you think you've found love, when it's really just one of those objects that are shiny in a certain light--a trophy, say, or a ring, or a diamond, even. Glass shards, maybe. You've got to be careful, you do. The shine can blind you." 
 

relghamry

I gave you gold and diamond rings
I know their just pretty things
But behind the glitter and the gleam
they meant more to me than to you it seemed
Being willing to hold you forever
I showed you a tender glimmer
Lights shining on rings your holding
They were only rings you told me
(tears)
 nothing less, nothing more
(tears)

 06052013